Update June 16, 2023, regarding my misuse of the N-word. I’ve come to regret my use of the N-word in the below. I was, ten years ago, quite ignorant of how it could and could not be used. As a Dutch customer weaned on an intellectual diet of popular American music (rap music in particular), I was under the impression that saying “nigger” in the context were I used it was a legitimate way to express admiration for the prowess of certain black men. I was wrong, and could have known that I was wrong if I had spent more time educating myself rather than just being brainwashed by American mass media.

I’m growing increasingly frustrated with my inability to increase the number of pull-ups I can do in one set. And, after so many years, I’m still not even close to doing a single one-hand pull-up or one of those muscle-ups all the niggers on YouTube seem to be doing these days. That’s why I’m going to let one of those black dudes guide me and my puny, little white frame:

That’s Ed from Barstarzz demonstrating a program developed by Major Charles Lewis Armstrong.

The program

I’m going to try the Armstrong workout program [PDF mirror from www.lamarineofficerprograms.com] for this month.

Every day morning routine

During my morning routine, I’ll perform 3 sets of push-ups until exhaustion. The program doesn’t mention this, but I’m going to use a different push-up technique every day.

Progress on the program

I started yesterday with Day 2 of the program so that I can follow it from Monday to Friday. Here I’ll track my progress during the weeks to come.

Pull-up progress
Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5
Description: 5 sets of max. reps Piramid sets (1 rep, 10 secs rest, 2 reps, 20 secs rest, etc. until failure; rest 60 sec and repeat last no. of reps same no. reps for 3*3 sets (3 different techniques; 60 sec. intervals) Same as day 3 + 1 rep/set Repeat hardest routine of the week
Week 1: Didn’t start yet 7 reps max 7 reps 8 reps 8 reps
Week 2: Pieterpad 7 reps max 8 reps (too optimistic) Left for Zeeland on Thu-night
Week 3: 12+8+6+7+8 7 reps max asleep 9*8 reps some reps
Week 4: drinking and partying too tired 9*8 reps
Week 5: Kampkater depressed depressed 9*10 reps 2*7+3*5 reps explosive pull-ups (chest to bar)
Week 6: 15+14+12+10+15 reps 10 reps max 9*11 reps
Week 7: 20+20+15+12+12 reps 9*11 reps 3*12 reps
Week 8: 12+19+10+10+9 reps 12 reps max
Push-up progress
Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5
Description: Diamond push-ups Small push-ups Wide push-ups One-armed push-ups Hindu push-ups
Week 1: I only started with the routine on Day 2 50+20+20+10 reps 3*15 reps 50+60+20 reps
Week 2: 50+50+30 reps ?+?+? reps ?+?+? reps 3*10 reps Zeeland
Week 3: 80+40+40 reps 3*50 reps 50+50+30 reps 3*15 reps 3*50 reps
Week 4: 50+70+70 reps 3*70 reps 120(140?)+100+70 reps 20 reps
Week 5: 30+20+20 reps 3*70 reps
Week 6: 80+80 reps 100+70+50 reps 3*30 reps
Week 7: 100+70+100 reps 3*80 reps 10+20+30 reps ? reps
Week 8: 100 reps 110+100 reps 15+20 reps 100 reps
Week 9: 120+100 reps 3*50 reps 30+50+50 reps [pansy-ass sore knuckles] 100+ reps